Author: Andrew Fukuda
Oh well, nice try Andrew Fukuda, but I'm afraid you blew it on the very first rule! Now that Mr. Fukuda has made the mistake of distinguishing himself through his excellent writing, dangerously drawing vampire attention to himself, I'll continue sharing the survival rules with the rest of the class.
Rule #2: Read The Hunt, by the aforementioned Andrew Fukuda!
The Hunt is the second vampire book I've read that doesn't actually use the word "vampire". (The other one is Peeps by Scott Westerfeld.) And both are among my short list for tops in the genre. Though, aside from the existence of blood suckers, neither book shares much in common with say, Twilight. The Hunt really is more like the movie Zombieland - the world is overrun with the undead and almost no humans remain. The human protagonist shares his rules for surviving in such a deadly world. In this case, he has to try to blend in and pretend that he is actually just a regular vampire like everyone else. Like Zombieland, Fukuda's story maintains a sort of surreal lightheartedness in spite of the fact that death is literally just a sneeze away. (Click here for your "Real Vampires Don't Have Allergies" T-shirt!)
Almost all joking aside, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. And I don't want to give the wrong impression about the book's tone. There isn't a single moment when you forget that the protagonist is surrounded at all times by people who would rip him to shreds in two seconds if they knew what he was. Not when he's at swim practice with the blood suckers. Not even when he's playing spin the bottle and is forced to go into a closet and neck with the hottest girl in school who also happens to be a spawn of Dracula. He is always on guard and so was I when I was reading it.